Don’t go on a Vipassana Meditation Retreat without these 5 things
After coming back from my Vipassana silent meditation retreat, I thought quite a bit about what I wish I would have known before going and embarking on this intense experience. I didn’t really find any good insight and information about this on any of the blogs or forums I read (sidenote: most of those blogs focused on camping equipment -- not exactly useful during the mental volatility I endured).
Spending 10-15 days without speaking, writing, dancing, listening to music, writing, eye contact, touch, reading, internet, TV, sex, and pretty much anything that could distract you is pretty difficult. You do nothing but meditate for 14+ hours a day. If you’re curious, you can read more about my experience.
I’m unsure any amount of advice can truly prepare someone for a Vipassana retreat, but I figure these reflections might be good to share with others who are considering going.
1. The knowledge that this is not a relaxing vacation
If the word “retreat” recalls images of airplane mode, nature and taking time off from the relentless hustle of late-stage capitalism – well, with Vipassana you’re sort of on the right path, but not really.
At a Vipassana retreat, meditation becomes your job. It’s the sole thing you will do besides taking care of your basic needs. The retreat I went to rightfully says “there is no time for leisure”. There is no time off, no weekends. Just meditating for 14+ hours a day. Time will start to lose meaning and you will probably experience time as the illusion that it already is.
Consider that meditating in a setting with little to no input will probably drive your mind into strange places. Be prepared to sit with deeply uncomfortable thoughts, memories, future anxieties, emotions, patterns, physical pain, sleep deprivation and hunger. But be also prepared to sit with comfortable and pleasurable thoughts, memories, emotions, etc. You will most likely experience a kaleidoscope of human emotion, shifting rapidly. The only task you have is to observe everything that arises with equanimity and neutrality. This can become exhausting. At least it was for me.
2. A basic understanding of your nervous system, trauma and how to self-soothe
I think it is critical to have a basic understanding of how the nervous system works, how trauma can affect it, and to have tools and strategies in place to self-soothe. If you have any unprocessed trauma, there is a strong likelihood of it arising during an intense Vipassana retreat. If you come unprepared, the risk of retraumatizing yourself is quite high.
Vipassana meditation, in its traditional practice, is not very trauma informed – at least not in my experience. It’s very much an old school, body focused, hardcore, one-size-fits-all approach to healing and meditation. It definitely works and I have no doubt that it has helped millions of people, but I would caution anyone with a history of trauma, PTSD, panic attacks or other mental health issues to go on a retreat like this without: (1) having strategies in place to self-soothe, calm and self-regulate and (2) if you fall into any of these categories, I strongly suggest you discussing with a mental health professional to determine if a retreat like this is right for you. Also bear in mind that depending on the retreat center you go to, there might not be enough staff in place to help you calm down and co-regulate if such a case arises. Plus, the staff available might not be trauma informed or trained to deal with stronger psychological episodes.
If you’re in a mental and emotional state to go, I still think it’s helpful to have some understanding of how the nervous system works. Being able to identify which state you’re in (fight/flight/freeze/fawn) and if you move out of your window of tolerance is anyway a great life skill to practice, but can be pretty crucial at a Vipassana retreat. With that baseline, have tools for self-soothing ready in case you become dysregulated.
By self-soothing tools, I mean things that promote grounding and calm, such as slow box breathing, cold exposure like cold showers (also good for panic attacks), progressive muscle relaxation, gentle movement/stretching, placing your hand over your heart, practicing self-compassion, etc. Have a few of these in place in case anything arises during your meditations and it gets too overwhelming.
3. Ideally, have some therapy or personal growth work under your belt
While I don’t think this is absolutely mandatory, I think it would probably be helpful to have spent some time working with a therapist, counsellor, coach and/or healer - or at least be doing some form of self-healing and reflective work. At the core of this is that you’ve dedicated at least a bit of time to gain a better understanding of yourself, your personal growth and self-actualization.
I only suggest this because during a Vipassana retreat you will be faced with no one but yourself/your mind for an extended period of time and if you are not very familiar with yourself, I could very well see this experience being extra difficult and overwhelming.
I know mental health care remains a privilege for most folks out there and this might not be accessible to everyone. This is why I suggest doing at least some form of self-healing work like journaling, understanding and observing your ego, breathwork, meditation, etc. I think a little bit here will go a long way. I imagine most people choosing to go to Vipassana are already pretty self-aware and doing this sort of work, but I think it’s still worth mentioning.
4. Pack the necessities, but also the small things that give you comfort
I don’t know if this counts as cheating at the retreat for the Buddhists, but at the suggestion of my therapist, I made an effort to bring small things that provide little bits of comfort. Simple items like a well-designed new thermos, a nicely scented Dr. Bronners soap, my favorite shampoo, cozy socks, a warm blanket, cushy pantoffles all became small pleasures that I came to relish in the face of the harshness of the near solitary confinement I found myself in.
Looking back, I wish I had packed my favorite towel set and not my technical travel/hiking towels. I missed touching soft fabric and feeling that familiar cozy warmth after showering. It’s the little things sometimes, after all.
5. A big dose of courage and self-compassion
If you choose to embark on a Vipassana meditation retreat I imagine you’re already courageous – good. Remember your bravery, channel it and tap into it when facing moments of doubt or any of the other Buddhist hindrances (desire, anger, sloth/torpor/boredom, restlessness and worry) that will inevitably arise during your 10+ days.
Be self-compassionate to yourself during your retreat. Self-compassion means being gentle, kind and understanding with yourself, accepting that you are imperfect and that there is learning and growth in every mistake you make. In the Buddhist sense, compassion means offering patience, kindness and non-judgmental understanding towards oneself and others.
I suggest developing self-compassion before your retreat. There are lots of great free guided meditations out there on this topic, but this one from Tara Brach is pretty wonderful.
Every Vipassana meditation retreat experience will be different for every person. I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination and this is by no means an exhaustive or complete list of what qualities, knowledge and things to bring. These are just a few bits I found helpful in my own experience. And I hope that, should you ever be brave or curious enough to venture to try a 10 day retreat, you keep these 5 tips in mind.
~
What do you think? Did I miss something? What would you suggest bringing to a Vipassana meditation retreat?
